A Soldier's Last Letters
by kiwismakemehappy
Summary: Anyone else wondering what Jace wrote in his letters to Clary, Isabelle, and Alex before he left to fight Sebastion? Slight spoilers for CoG and a major fluff warning.
1. Clary

_A/N: I finished CoG yesterday; it was amazing, but I was a little disappointed they didn't show everyone's letters. So, I decided to attempt to replicate what I think Jace would have said!. I tried to keep the angst to a minimum, but failed miserably. _

_Anyhoo, I'm planning on writing up Isabelle and Alec's letters soonish. Hopefully they won't be so… mushy. I've got a ton of homework that I'm neglecting, so I'm posting this right away, completely unbetaed. You've been warned! Mwah. _

_Disclaimer: Sorry, I'm just not cool enough to own the Mortal Instruments._

Despite everything, I can't bear the thought of this ring being lost forever, any more than I can bear the thought of leaving you forever. And though I have no choice about the one, at least I can choose about the other.

With this ring, I've relinquished all those ties that bound me to my father. He taught me to be a warrior. He taught me to be a man. He taught me to be cold as ice. A few friends had started to chisel away my icy exterior, but with little success. Then you stumbled into my life: graceless, feisty, warm, perfect, my savior.

Clary. You are a fire; since the moment I saw you, you've consumed me.

I've told you before that you make me feel like I belong. That's not entirely true. You make me think that the world is a beautiful place, that life is worth living. So thank you. Thank you for teaching me the meaning of life, giving me a reason to live it, and, I suppose in light of my destination, to lose it.

If I succeed, I want you to know that it will be because of you. Knowing you love me, even if it's wrong, even though I'm cursed, gives me a strength I didn't know I lacked. And if I'm unsuccessful… if I'm unsuccessful, I will die with your name on my lips. Clary. No sound is sweeter, no name is more cherished than your own. I would die a thousand deaths before I let anyone extinguish you fire.

You can be angry with me if you want; I don't mind. So long as you understand why I left, you can be as irate as you want.

Even though it's wrong, even though it causes me the most exquisite agony I've ever know, I love you. I will love you so long as I live. If there is a god, and an afterlife, and we still have the capacity for emotion, I will love you then too.

Jace


	2. Alec

_A/N: In celebration of the weekend, I'm finally updating something! As usual, I've self edited, which isn't the most efficient way of catching mistakes, but whatever. Hopefully the last letter will be out soon, (soon for me meaning in a couple weeks. School, work, extra curricular stuff, and applying for colleges and scholarships are not conducive to my recreational writing,) and I'm not sure if this is OOC, but the next one will be better. Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I don't even own a copy of the books, let alone the copyright. Christmas is coming up though…_

Considering my line of work, Clary found my lack of belief in God strange. She can't understand why I don't pay homage to a being that quite possibly exists and most probably has the means for my protection. To be honest, I never saw the need; you've watched my back for so long, it seemed pointless to pray for another person to do it.

I enjoy playing with fire, but whenever I reached my burning point, you've always been there with a fire extinguisher and a band aid. No matter what situation I get myself into, you constantly smooth over my inadequacies and get me out of it. So thank you.

I've also been meaning to inform you of something else for a while now, but when everything boils down to its essence, I was too cowardly to do so. I've prolonged this and now, on the very good chance that I won't see you again, I must at last tell you.

I'm so sorry.

I'm not apologizing for what I said about you and your love life; you need a swift kick to the butt. With Magnus you have the potential to be truly happy, so you had better not waste it pining after an ideal that won't reject you. I'm also not apologizing for leaving, because my mission is a necessary evil. If I were to perish, especially if it meant that you or anyone else I love would live, then my death would be a more than fair exchange.

I'm sorry I've gotten you into so many reckless situations. I'm sorry for losing faith in you when I was incarcerated. I'm sorry I put Clary's happiness above your own. I'm sorry I'm not fit to be your brother in arms, and I'm even more sorry that I can't tell you why. I'm sorry I always gave you the responsibility. I'm sorry I might never be able to apologize in person. Most of all, I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect Max.

Out of everyone, I'll worry about you the most. You are too driven by duty, and you take everything so seriously.

So be strong, but most of all, be happy.

Jace


	3. Isabel

_A/N: I figured this was a little more upbeat and Jace-like. It's kind of nice to finish this little three-shot. Usually I just do drabble series or oneshots, which are either never done or over too quickly._

_Disclaimer: To be honest, it's probably a good thing I don't own the Mortal Instruments series…_

Isabel,

You really don't even need this. You've always been the most controlled of the three of us. But considering my neglectful friendship as of late, I assumed if I wrote something for only Clary and Alec, you resurrect me and kill me again. (Now there's a though; if I don't come back, see if you can convince Clary to work up some sort of reanimation rune.)

Honestly, I don't know what to tell you. I have no ring or apology to leave with you. You're beautiful, charming, funny, and a terror with a whip. Perhaps as a parting gift, I can bestow upon you some advice then.

You have a tendency to do the exact opposite of whatever you're told; you chase after femininity and domesticity because your mother can't stand the thought of you being anything less than a lethal shadow hunter- but it obviously isn't making you happy. You want be little and cute, but that just isn't _you_. Party and fight and be vain and learn how to knit and chase after guys and cook, (never mind, I would erase but I've written in pen, so scratch that last thing out please,) if you want to.

Motivation is everything- do things because you want to do them, not because other people don't want you to. I guess what I'm saying is, don't be like me.

I know that out of everyone, you will be able to cope with my departure the best. Because of that strength, I'll ask one last favor of you: please look after Clary. She respects you even if she does not always like you. If worst come to worst, you will be exactly what she needs.

I suppose this is goodbye, whether for now or forever is anybody's guess. Take care and don't cause too much trouble.

Oh, and a last suggestion? Leave the mundie alone. He's nothing but trouble. (I mean it Iz. The boy is a super vampire in love with another woman. And he can quote every line of dialogue from the original Star Trek. Come on.)

Jace


End file.
